Unraveling the "Failed Reward System": Celebrating Success, Not Setbacks

Unraveling the "Failed Reward System": Celebrating Success, Not Setbacks

June 16, 20243 min read

🎈 Unraveling the "Failed Reward System": Celebrating Success, Not Setbacks 🎈

In our journey through life, we often set up a personal reward system, albeit unconsciously, that can play a significant role in shaping our behaviors and attitudes. Interestingly, this system can sometimes get wired incorrectly, leading to what I like to call “The Failed Reward System." It's a paradox where we end up rewarding ourselves during tough times and neglecting to do so when we achieve success or maintain our commitments.

Unraveling the "Failed Reward System": Celebrating Success, Not Setbacks

The Twist in Our Reward System 🔄

Imagine after a challenging day at work, you decide to unwind with a glass of wine or binge-watch your favorite series, treating it as a 'reward' for enduring the stress. Or perhaps, following a disagreement with a partner, you find solace in comfort food, viewing it as a deserved treat. While there's nothing inherently wrong with seeking comfort, this pattern can inadvertently program our brains to associate rewards with negative experiences.

A Critical Addition: The Need to Halt Comfort Rewards in Bad Times🚫

Here's a crucial adjustment to our approach: It's essential to stop rewarding ourselves after negative situations. Yes, you read that right. If the day has been tough, instead of reaching for that metaphorical ice cream, opt for choices that align with your long-term well-being—like a nutritious salad. This might sound harsh at first, but the goal is to break the cycle that conditions us to subconsciously seek out or even create negative scenarios for the sake of the 'reward' that follows.

The Flip Side: Forgetting to Celebrate the Good 🌟

Conversely, when things are going smoothly—be it excelling at our jobs, adhering to our fitness goals, or enjoying harmonious relationships—we often proceed without acknowledging these victories. It's as if we believe that success or fulfillment doesn't require recognition or celebration. This oversight can subtly undermine our motivation to pursue positive outcomes, as our brain begins to lean towards scenarios where it anticipates a 'reward,' even if it's in the context of a setback.

Redefining Rewards: Celebrate Success 🏆

It's time to consciously flip the script on our reward system. Celebrating our successes, no matter how small, reinforces a positive feedback loop in our brains, encouraging us to aim for achievements and personal growth. It's about acknowledging the effort, resilience, and dedication it takes to reach our goals or maintain our well-being.

Today's Takeaway: Cultivate a Success-Oriented Reward System 🌈

This week, I invite you to reflect on how you reward yourself. Start by recognizing and celebrating your successes. Did you complete a project at work? Reward yourself with something that brings you joy. Maintained your workout schedule? Perhaps a relaxing evening or a special purchase you've been considering. The key is to associate these positive reinforcements with your achievements and progress.

By reshaping our reward system to celebrate successes rather than compensating for challenges, we rewire our brains to seek out and strive for positive outcomes. It's a powerful shift that can transform our approach to life, fueling our journey towards authentic happiness and fulfillment.

Until next time, let's remember to reward the victories in our lives, embracing the joy and satisfaction they bring. Here's to reprogramming our reward system for a brighter, more successful future. 🎉

Psychotherapist MPF, Coach, Author, MscBA

T. Mark Meyer

Psychotherapist MPF, Coach, Author, MscBA

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