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Celebrating Authenticity: How Ramnik Discovered an Important Purpose

October 29, 2023•4 min read

Celebrating Authenticity: How Ramnik Discovered an Important Purpose

It was a cold spring day in Copenhagen, Denmark. Ramnik’s son was playing ball by the pier not far from their home. After a while, what might have seemed inevitable happened: the ball landed in the water and started to drift away. The boy ran home and rang the doorbell, asking his mother to come down. Ramnik did and assessed the situation firsthand.

Her initial instinct was to let her son know that they would have to buy a new ball. But then she noticed a particular look in her son's eyes. She could see that this specific ball had special meaning to him. She knew right then and there that replacing the ball was not an option. So, she went back up to her apartment, changed into her bathing suit, went back down, and jumped into the 5-degree Celsius cold water. She swam out and fetched the ball. Once back on the pier, her son looked at her, admiration evident in his eyes, and exclaimed, “Wow, mom. That was so cool. Thank you!”

There was something about that incident that resonated with Ramnik. It wasn’t the fact that she just jumped into the cold water or that she went above and beyond what could be expected of her as a mom. No, it was something different, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Unlocking Authenticity By Knowing Purpose 🔐

Ramnik was a client of mine doing “Find My Purpose” sessions aimed at leaders and professional athletes who want to become more authentic leaders. As a high-performing executive for several international brands, she enjoyed her professional journey. She had noticed that some of her previous roles had been more gratifying than others, despite their apparent similarities. Likewise, at her current job, certain tasks stood out as more rewarding. Intrigued by this inconsistency, she wanted to find out what was behind it, so she could be more authentic and lead others with more authenticity.

During “Find My Purpose” sessions, we discuss life stories, how behavior changes under different expectations and scenarios, and what motivates or demotivates an individual. All with the aim of finding which purposes (yes, in plural) are most significant for you. In Ramnik’s case, these sessions unveiled three fundamental components that she needed to express in order to feel truly authentic. Firstly, she had always possessed an innate ability to spot people in need of help. It could be the one person at a dinner party who sat on the sideline and needed to be invited to join the conversation or, at work, the potential client that was struggling to succeed with a given task and needed a tool for it. Secondly, she got special joy from helping these people. When she saw that person from the dinner party enjoying themselves after being invited to join the conversation, or when that client got a tool to help them succeed. In order to come full circle, she needed a third component: that others saw and acknowledged her for her help. A look of gratitude from the dinner guest or a thank you from the client made her feel like she was making a difference.

In essence, it could be simplified into a three-step mantra: SEE - HELP - BE SEEN. Viewing the experience with the ball in the water through this lens made it clear why she had felt especially good about this situation. She saw her son's pain behind his facade, she helped him, and he acknowledged her with a “Wow, mom. That was so cool! Thank you”. Viewing things with this narrative also explained why she did not like tasks where the client already knew both the problem and solution, and she was in reality just facilitating a sale. She never was able to “see” the client. Nor did she enjoy being part of large meetings where her influence was either limited or non-existent. She did not get to “help”. And it also explained why she had never been comfortable in jobs where the KPIs she was measured against exclusively focused on things other than how she had helped her clients.

Authentic Leadership: When Purpose Aligns with Action 🎯

Becoming aware of these key components of her purpose made Ramnik a more authentic person at work. A more authentic leader to the people around her. Consider if you have the same kind of insight into your own purpose. What would it mean if you did? Would you be a better leader as a result? Would you understand other people's purposes better if you knew your own?

Let us applaud everyone who makes an active choice to become more self-aware. These are the people who, through understanding themselves, become better equipped to understand those around them. It is these individuals who strive towards authenticity that ultimately become the most authentic leaders.