One of the most important aspects of practicing the art of being authentic is living in accordance with your values. But before you can do that, you need to understand what your values are, and just as crucially, how they differ from norms.

What's the Real Difference? 🤔

Values and norms are not the same, although they can often feel similar. In a nutshell, values are the guidelines we set for ourselves, the touchstones that make us say, "Yep, this feels right." On the flip side, norms are the should-do's, the must-haves, and the can't-dos society often places on our shoulders.

The Everyday Reality 🌆

Think about it this way. You might feel it's essential to stand up when the national anthem plays at a sporting event. But do you jump off your couch to salute the flag when it comes on TV? Probably not. That's a norm, not a value. Being punctual for meetings? That's usually a norm tied to your professional environment. But if punctuality is a value for you, you'll make sure you're on time for that coffee date with a friend, too. In essence, norms are prescriptions for specific situations whereas values transcends specific situations.

Why It Matters and How to Shift Gears 🔄

In a world often guided by norms—external rules that tell us what we should or shouldn't do—it’s easy to lose sight of what we genuinely believe in. Living by norms instead of values can pull you away from your authentic self.

The first step to living more authentically is to challenge the norms you've accepted without ever really questioning them. Ask yourself, "Do I stand by this because it's what I believe, or because it's what I'm told to believe?" By probing your own norms, you pave the way to uncover your authentic values.

Today’s Takeaway 🛠

Here's a simple but impactful exercise: List down five values you have, then question each one. Is this a norm disguising itself as a value? Does it steer you towards what you genuinely want to do or away from it? Once you've picked it apart, you can say, "Hey, I'm doing this because I want to," or, "Nope, this is not me."

Remember, your authentic self isn't about what you “have to do” but about what “is right for you to do.” In the process of separating norms from values, you turn the 'have-tos' into 'want-tos,' and that’s a game-changer.

So, there you have it. A chat about why differentiating between norms and values is essential for a life well-lived. Ready to take the plunge?